Positive Updates

I think it was Dorothy this past 4th of July weekend who mentioned that my blog didn’t really sound like I was doing okay.  Note that my pneumonia scare was an anomaly and I apologize if my tone at times is depressing.  I have been doing quite well throughout chemo thus far, but for that one day in the ER.  And as most of you know, I am usually a positive, upbeat person.  Obviously, I’m not the best about updating my blog regularly, so I realize that I need to be better about documenting my treatment and how I’m doing on a more consistent basis.

As a general update, I have been working out pretty regularly (clearly more regularly than I update this blog) and have been doing a ton of pilates with Erin at Maya Whole Health Studio in Fremont.  For those of you who don’t know Erin, she owns Maya and is an amazing pilates instructor.  I’m new to pilates and just love it.  My body image issues have always been with my midsection (us Filipinas gain our weight right in the middle), so pilates has been a great addition to my workout regimen.  I train with Erin twice a week, run/walk/climb stairs four days a week, and take Mondays off for chemo.  Hopefully I’ll incorporate a less joint-impacting workout during the week like cycling, swimming (if I can ever get myself to learn), or yoga.  I’m no spring chicken anymore, and running four times a week will have an impact (pun intended) on my joints. 

I have to share about a workout I had right at the beginning of my Taxol treatments.  I’m not sure if it was because I was still coming off of that nasty A/C stuff or if my body was a bit shocked by the switch to Taxol, but the stairs I usually climb as part of my workout was particularly hard this day.  As I was nearing the last flight of stairs, two 20-something-year-old men came jogging down the stairs.  One of the guys stopped near where I had stopped to catch my breath, smiled at me, and quietly encouraged me, “You can do it!”  I giggled in response, smiled back at him, and thanked him for his vote of confidence.  Notably, I work out with no hat on, so it’s a bit obvious that I have cancer.  That interaction put on a smile on my face for all my other workouts that week.  Although the workouts seemed harder, I kept hearing that guy’s voice in my head (along with a bit of a Rob Schneider accent) — You can do it! 

Working out regularly has kept my energy level up and has also forced me to prioritize my days.  Not having a regular sleep schedule affects my productivity on some days, but exercising regularly helps me keep a regular sleep schedule as much as possible.  It’s been pleasantly surprising to realize that I can bill 155 hours a month AND still get regular exercise.  I used to blame work for not working out.  Now, I have no excuse.  Not that I want to work at a job that demands a ton of time from me, but now that I know that I can work, exercise, and battle cancer – again, I have no excuse.

As for work, I’ve been powering through.  I am blessed to have such an amazing support staff and very cool associate attorneys.  Associates in my firm have kicked additional work my way when I needed to bill more hours for any given pay period; conversely, associates have assisted me with tasks when I needed help; and my firm’s support staff has treated every project from me with “priority” status.  Although I’m in a shitty position having to work full time during my treatment, I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to work with.

As for additional support, it’s been amazing having such a great group of friends to lean on during this process.  Dr. Pinder has joked every time I bring a new person with me to chemo that she has never met anyone with as many friends as I have.  The caveat that I will add to her observation is that I don’t just have a ton of friends — I have friends who truly want to help me and support me in any way possible during my battle with Karla.  Now THAT is really an amazing fact.  I thank my lucky stars every day for the support system I have.  I wrote earlier about being solo and alone, but it is really hard to be “alone” with the group of friends I have.

Last, but not least, is my family.  I swear, my father calls almost every day to make sure I’m okay.  I think he’s trying to hold back recently, because I haven’t received a call from him in the last couple days.  I really get a lot strength from talking to my Dad.  He always tells me that it makes him feel so much better to hear my voice, but what he doesn’t realize is that I too feel much better after I have had a chance to talk to him.  There have been times where it feels like we’ve talked for hours.  He’s going through a slew of health problems of his own and yet he calls me regularly to find out how I’m doing.  He’s been one of the most helpful people to talk to as I struggle with the choice of what surgery to have, given my inconclusive genetic test results.  My Dad has a lot of life experience for being a youthful 72 years old.  He always has great perspective for me whenever we talk about tough issues regarding my treatment.  I look forward to when I will have the chance to fly home to see my family — hopefully this Christmas.

So there — I’m really doing okay!