My cancer is in remission and it’s been just over a year since my breast reconstruction was completed. One would think that now all my health woes are over and I can move on and be a “normal” person again. I am learning the hard way that my journey is not over — the obstacles have just changed.
My daily Tamoxifen, though necessary to insure the best prognosis for recurrent cancer, comes with a whole slew of issues resulting from inhibiting estrogen in my body. The first thing that is driving me bat shit crazy is my menstrual cycle. Prior to my treatment, I had pretty regular period – my cycles ran just about 30 days, I experienced very slight abdominal cramping that would alert me that I was likely to start my period on a given day, my period would last 7-8 days, and I didn’t struggle with PMS symptoms the way many of my friends did. Now, my cycle is all over the map — my cycles have varied from 28 days to 60 days, when my period comes there’s no warning, my periods last anywhere between a few hours to 8 days, and I now deal with some of the worst PMS symptoms I’ve ever experienced (e.g. my roommate found me crying for no reason as I was watering my plants the other day). Though I am grateful that my cycle came back online after chemo, the Tamoxifen is making life difficult in this regard.
The other problem I’m battling is balding. I’ve sported a short pixie haircut since my hair grew back in after chemo. Transitioning from long hair to short hair was easy — the shorter hairdo is much more my style now. However, after my girlfriend Erin from Seattle came to visit me a couple of months ago, I realized that my cowlick is thinning. Erin pulled me aside before she got on her flight home and tactfully noted that she thought my hair was thinning, based on what she remembered my hair and cowlick looked like before I moved to the Bay Area. Being as vain as I am, I immediately made an appointment to see a dermatologist. After reviewing my file, examining me, and sending me in for bloodwork to check for thyroid issues (which came back negative), my dermatologist confirmed that I was showing signs of thinning hair and that it was very likely due to the Tamoxifen. He explained to me that decreased estrogen may lead to hair loss. He told me that back in the day people used estrogen cream on their scalps to stimulate hair growth. It was a very effective treatment. However, after further research, doctors realized that use of these estrogen creams also brought with it a ton of negative side effects (though even if there were no side effects for normal folks, I’d still likely be precluded from using an estrogen cream on my scalp). I’m now trying Rogaine to stop the hair loss. My dermatologist advised me to use Rogaine for men, despite the warnings for women to refrain from using it, because Rogaine for men is more effective than Rogaine for women, and the main side effect for women is increased hair growth in undesirable areas, which can be easily addressed with laser hair removal. I’m only one month into using Rogaine. I plan to keep a photo journal to track my progress and see if it helps with the hair loss. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Although I embraced being bald during chemo as a natural part of the process, I definitely don’t want to go bald now.
The other problems I’ve been dealing with are all about my boobs. Although I’ve done my best to stop sleeping on my right side to manage the pain I feel from the likely scar tissue under my right implant, I do experience some sensitivity and pain once in a while. Also, as I think I may have mentioned in an earlier blogpost, my left areola tattoo has faded significantly. I need to schedule some time with my plastic surgeon to redo the tattoo soon but just haven’t gotten around to it.
On a bright note, my mastectomy scars are getting smaller and less noticeable, as I have been going into my plastic surgeon’s office monthly for scar abatement treatment. It’s so weird but so effective — imagine a tiny air gun with medication that is shot into the scar to break it down over time. My right mastectomy scar, which was pretty thick — almost as thick as my pinky finger is wide — is now almost flat. My plastic surgeon’s office told me that I have one or two more treatments before I’ll be done. The scars are exponentially flatter now than they were before I started these treatments. I’m very excited to see the final result.
For today’s soundtrack I leave you with a song that has really captured my soul recently. I absolutely HEART Adele, and her cover of The Cure’s “Love Song” is just fantastic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHxDX5L4Az4.
